The SpongeBoob Lost Episode
WARNING:
This pasta is so scary, that after reading you will wish you never even heard of ‘Creepypasta.’ This pasta increases rapid heartbeats and will make you crap your pants. Not to mention this pasta was approved by Chuck Norris, Bill GoldBurg, Slenderman, Jeff The Killer, SomeGuyWhoReadsCreepypastas and you get the idea.
You also will want to turn out the lights… pour yourself a glass of wine. Make sure you have a muzzle on, so nobody can hear you scream.
Make sure that the lights are turned out and the thermostate is at 36 degrees so it’s very cold. It’s also a good idea if you try to turn off your T.V. so you don’t get distracted when you read this.
So, make sure all of these are checked and that you have good luck reading this. So, I’ll stop milking the moment after I also warn you that if you are under the age of 10, stop reading this because it’s so scary. One 9-year-old read this and passed out for 3 hours because it was so scary. However, little toddlers who read this don’t get scared for some reason.
Old people who read this fly through the roof like a 4th grade science fair rocket. Teenagers will explode, and adults will start crying and read Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows for hours until it ends.
So, by saying this, hope you enjoy it, and with a simple cup of milk and a glass of yeast, and a beaker of wine, we shall get into the story…
The Pasta
I was working at Nickelodeon studios in the late 1990’s for the kids. Not the money. This was before I had heard of these ‘Lost Episodes’ and was distracted by SpongeBob. My kids knew about lost episodes, and warned me.
I laughed and patted my kids on the head, and hopped into the car and drove to my work. Everything was normal, it was a slow day. I was still smiling slightly from these ‘lost episodes’ and was drinking some coffee. I was then informed by a manager that a new cut of a SpongeBob episode had been received, and that I should get my fat behind into the editing room.
When I walked in, I felt like something was watching me. I ignored it and sat down on a free chair.
“So, what’s for today?” I asked as I took a sip of my coffee.
“CreepyPants.” a staff told me.
“CreepyPants?” I asked, choking on my coffee.
“Well, it was what we received.” the staff said, putting the VHS tape into the VCR to watch.
I sat down, hoping for this to be good. “CreepyPants” was an odd title for a SpongeBob episode, but hey, it was what they received.
The title card came on, saying CreepyPants, but the Happy-Go-Lucky theme tune wasn’t playing. Instead, some dark, gothic slow music was playing with missing frequencies, and was made of dissonant instruments.
Then, it showed SpongeBob playing his clarinet and Squidward was outside playing.
“Squidward? Can you be quiet! I’m trying to concentrate!” a disgruntled SpongeBob yelled from out of his window.
“But SpongeBob, I’m having too much fun!” Squidward chuckled as he caught a jellyfish.
“I don’t care if you’re having fun, my clarinet concert is tonight and I need to practice without interruption!” the angry SpongeBob yelled at Squidward.
“You’re having a clarinet concert? I’ll be there to watch!” Squidward said as he blew bubbles, before popping them.
SpongeBob looked angry, and shut the window, which shattered from impact. The camera cuts to SpongeBob playing his clarinet, and this time, nobody is interrupting. Nobody interrupts for 4 minutes until there is a knock at the door.
SpongeBob sighs, and goes to the door. At the door is a British fish came. He said in a hoarse voice that he was selling fried clams.
When he told SpongeBob this, he yelled.
“FRIED CLAMS?! WE’RE FISH! WE DON’T EAT EACH OTHER!” SpongeBob shouted.
He slammed the door rudely in the man’s face and walked upstairs. Just as SpongeBob wraps his gross, slimey mouth around the clarinet, there is yet another knock at the door.
It was the British salesman, and he looked downcast at SpongeBob as he spoke.
“Sir, can you please just try a fried clam?” the British fish asked as he glared into SpongeBob’s angry eyes.
“NO! I’M NOT EATING MY KIND!” SpongeBob screamed at the man.
He slammed the door shut, but the British salesman caught the door halfway when SpongeBob shut it.
“Try one.” the fish said crossly at SpongeBob.
“No. I said I’m not.” SpongeBob said.
Then, I realized that this had already been 11 minutes, when was the action gonna begin? All of the other interns were looking at each other, confused why this was stretching so long.
“Please….try one…. it’ll be good for busi--”
“I’M NOT EATING A FISH!” SpongeBob screamed, and with that, he slammed the door and locked it.
SpongeBob walked back upstairs, and there was a knock at the door, but SpongeBob didn’t answer it this time. Nope. He walked and wrapped his mouth along the clarinet, and played a horrible tune for 1 minute, and the camera cuts to black.
“Is that the end?” one intern asked.
His question was answered when the camera starts up again, and shows a unicorn pooping incecream as he flies over the house of Patrick’s.
Then, the camera shows a huge house, it cuts to what happening inside, and it’s the end of SpongeBob’s concert. There is complete silence for 30 seconds before the audience begins to boo at him, and SpongeBob starts crying.
He runs away as people throw tomatos at him, and then the camera cuts to black again. It then shows SpongeBob and Patrick playing, and there is Squidward playing with them too, very much unlike him.
Squidward trips and gets a ‘boo-boo’ and starts crying. SpongeBob says ‘Suck it up’ very rudely and goes to his house, before slamming the door. Now, all that’s left it Squidward and Patrick, Squidward crying, Patrick giving him a band-aid for his ‘boo-boo.’
Then, it shows a very depressed SpongeBob staring at the camera in his pineapple. His eyes are bloodshot like he had been crying, and he doesn’t have a mouth.
That was what kind of made me feel freaked out. He stands there for a long time, before he blinks and lets out a big sigh. The camera pans over to reveal that there is a bag of potato chips on a table. The camera zooms in on the bottle, where the label can be seen.
It says ‘Lays Potato Chips’ in big, bold fonts and has drippy letters. There was then a silence, no sound could be heard, none from the staff, and I couldn’t even hear myself breath.
There was dead silence for 2 more minutes before SpongeBob starts crying. The crying was so realistic and sad, that I felt like crying. Then, SpongeBob reaches into the bag of chips, and eats some. SpongeBob then grabs the whole bag, tips his head back, and lets all of the potato chips into his mouth.
There is a choking sound, and SpongeBob cluches his neck before he falls over. The camera then shows a man naked in a shower.
Then, it shows Squidward choking on a fork. He runs into a donkey, which poops a motercycle and flies away, without a word.
The motercycle drives away, and the magical unicorn comes back and starts crying on Squidward. As the unicorn’s tears drip on Squidward, Squidward’s skin turns a light purple and his pupils are a rainbow color. Squidward started laughing, and he got on the unicorn and the unicorn flew into the sky.
As they flew into the sky, the whole screen darkened a bit and the words “The End” in cursive appeared before the screen cuts to black.
“What the heck?” an intern said out loud as the credits rolled.
“I have no idea what happened.” I said to him.
I was lying though, because I knew exactly what happned: I switched the tape, and made everyone think I was innocent. I will continue to live up this lie until someone finds out. I also switched your calender; it’s supposed to say September 31st, 1999 but instead it says Jaunary 25th, 1926!
The Gallery
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